Ever agree to “just help out for a bit” and suddenly find yourself steering the ship?
That was me. One day I was a sales rep hustling across my territory. The next, my boss got promoted, leaving an open seat for a Temporary District Business Manager. I raised my overachiever hand (because of course I did) and suddenly found myself managing both a territory and a team at Bristol Myers Squibb.
It was a juggling act that demanded Olympic-level organization and time management. Luckily, being mildly obsessive and a proudly self-diagnosed perfectionist worked in my favor. For ten months, I leaned hard into learning the ropes, building relationships, sending out “inspiring” group voicemails (they were not), and setting expectations with authority (translation: barking orders).
In truth, I was what I now call an armchair captain. I was not mentoring, coaching, or rolling up my sleeves to earn credibility in the field. I was relaying directives rather than leading from the front. Still, when the company began searching for a full-time replacement, I threw my name into the ring and campaigned like it was a congressional race. I asked peers, my team, and customers for support and got the job.
Lesson #1: Leading is Hard
That was when it hit me. Leadership is its own beast.
It requires a complete shift from doing the work to enabling others to do it. And no one hands you a manual for that transition.Managing people is not just about hitting targets. It is about navigating personalities, emotions, and expectations all at once.
Not unexpectedly, global research and advisory firm Gartner confirms that 60 percent of new managers fail within the first 24 months, largely due to a lack of training in leadership and management skills. No wonder only about one-third feel confident early on.
Leadership means balancing a million competing demands: setting expectations, building trust, managing conflict, and realizing that great leaders do not have all the answers. They just have the courage to learn as they go.
Lesson #2: Feedback is a Gift
Feedback is not just about hearing words. It is about managing your emotions while you hear them.
Studies show that feedback can trigger a defensive reaction in the brain, and I was no exception. Early on, my ego bruised easily when feedback came unfiltered or unexpected. Thankfully, I had mentors like Michael Petricone and Domingo Rodriguez, seasoned sales leaders who cared enough to tell me the truth. They would pull me aside after meetings to offer honest but constructive feedback. Never to cut me down, always to build me up.
They taught me something essential: feedback is not an attack; it is a compass for growth.
Over time, I learned that how I responded to feedback mattered as much as the feedback itself. I could defend or I could develop. Creating an environment where my team felt safe enough to share uncomfortable truths changed everything. It took patience and swallowing a bit of pride, but that habit of listening with curiosity instead of defensiveness became one of my most powerful leadership tools.
Lesson #3: Employees Seek Leaders, Not Friends
When I became a parent, this one hit home. Parenting and leadership share the same core: setting boundaries, holding space for growth, and knowing that being “liked” is not the goal.
At work, it is tempting to want to be everyone’s favorite boss. But employees do not need friends who bail them out. They need leaders who challenge, support, and empower them to grow.
True leadership means letting people fail safely and learn fast. Sometimes that means stepping back, letting them wrestle with challenges, and guiding only when truly needed. Over time, this builds independence, confidence, and respect; qualities friendship alone cannot create.
Of course, that does not mean shutting off empathy. The best leaders lead with heart. They know when to lean in and when to step aside. They do not do the work for their people; they open doors for them.
By the time I left BMS, I had grown immensely. My Regional Leader, Jeff Read, gave me the space to take risks, make mistakes, and learn from every one of them. After six years and a part-time MBA (thanks, BMS), I was ready for a new challenge. One that blended my love of science, strategy, and innovation.
Stay tuned for Part 5: Breaking into Biotech. Things are about to get nerdy.
What was your biggest “first-time manager” lesson?